My eyes are full with tears, mi throat is full with thousands of words that I have never vomit to you... My mother is bothering me with Lords Word... And my soul is spilling all over your hands.
I hate myself because I feel like part of you, that little part that is between your fingertips and your nails, useless, but attached tou you.
My heart is about to jump out of my chest... wondering why does he use me, wondering if his heart is frozen and his dick and animal instinct is the only part of human being he's able to let flow. Wondering and burning my insides because I'm too coward and I can not say good bye to him, who has said me several times before, we should let us appart.
My veins are so fulled of pain, their weak blood is running looking for answers, waiting for him to notice how much I love him, and how my life is in a big part now his.
What does love mean to him? Why doesn't he just once for all destroys my love devoted to him, why does he give me hope, and in other moments is cold and distant, where's the guy I met back in october 2008? where are all the things he used to do that let me know he cared?
I have no changed, what made him fall in love with me? what on me made him love me? I need him! I miss him! I'm on the conscient mood to give it all for being with him! I belive in love!
I'm a dumbass woman sitting here on my coach dying of love to someone that doesn't seem to care of me. I'm a stupid! I'm an asshole, I want to turn my skin on torns!!! I wanna yell at him, I'm still hearing Lord's Word, and it doesn't give me peace, I'd really love you to love me and to look at me like you used to, in the way I felt I was on stars, the way that made me feel loved, like yesterday.
I still loving him, even more! does he loves me... does he uses me... does he needs me, am I being used by him just for not feeling lonelyness? is that just sex? I don't think so, the way I suck his dick can be done even better for many chicks, what is it horny? what is it my baby? what is happening with the two of us? Tell me Bichy, cuz right now I'd love to be in your arms and everytime I see you and I feel you nd I read you more and more far from me.
I miss you really much.
